Liberty 101

It is always best, I think, to work from a foundation, and build from the ground up. To that end, I?m going to be posting political philosophy in that fashion.

Liberty 101.

Most people, methinks, are scared of freedom. True, honest to God, LIBERTY makes them lay awake at night and wet the bed. Liberty means responsibility for yourself. It means that the logical consequence of personal liberty ? going hand in hand with profiting from your good choices ? includes taking your lumps from your bad ones.

Liberty is not Anarchy. And I am not speaking of the Marxist ?anarchists? throwing crap during the G8 summit. Anarchy is a specific philosophy that postulates existing without a government, withal human interaction on a voluntary basis. Like communism ? sounds nice on paper, but is crackpot and utopian. It requires the belief in more than one miracle to make it reality. The failings of it are legion, and I have come to the conclusion that only whackjobs believe in it.

Hence, I won?t debate it. It is the most fruit-loopy proposition I have ever heard, and until I can get even one Anarchist to give me satisfactory answers to my questions, if you disagree, you?re a moron. I can?t help you.

People are social animals, and for them to live together require rules, laws. These can be detailed, or minimalist. If you?ve ever had room-mates, this will be obvious to you. I have been in a roomie situation with anal-retentive, OCD control freaks and frankly I?d rather have checked into Dachau. Screeching fits over the order the laundry detergent and the bleach went on the shelf, toilet paper over or under, or whether to leave the forks pointing up or down. Honestly, I think I?d have had less of a fit if I had slammed their door open and viciously sodomized them, unless, of course, I?d wiped my dick off on the guest towels.

At the other end, though, is anarchy. The guy who won?t keep his room clean. Who won?t clean up after her un-housebroken cur. Who won?t wash dishes after use. Who won?t discipline their kids. Who won?t buy their own toothpaste. Or toothbrush.

Ground rules. On X date we go pay our communal bills, anyone who doesn?t is bitch-boy until they do. Living room, kitchen, bathroom, and laundry are public areas to bekept clean and in order. Personal rooms are sacrosanct so long as no vermin or leasebreaking activities goes on. All meals are private arrangements. Everyone has five totes of X size that can be used in the common storage. Put a sock or tie on the doorknob and keep it down if you are ? entertaining. Division of chores in X fashion. Disputes settled like so. Break the rules enough and expect to be invited to leave and replaced.

Congratulations. You?ve made a government.

(This is why anarchy doesn?t work. I?ve lived three guys and no rules, and it was a fucking disaster.)
No I don?t care if you smoke the weed in your own room. I do care if you sell it or buy it here, because the next thing you know, I?m handcuffed on the couch while the police search the place and tear my $300 speakers apart looking for pot. I do care if you smoke it in the common area, because when my sainted mother walks in, she?ll think I?m a pothead. And if you get stopped, and busted for having dope, no, I am not obligated to bail your dumb ass out, or even pick you up from the Crowbar Hotel when you are RoR?d.

Girls Gone Wild on your own TV in your own room ? your business. In the public room? Different story.

I don?t care if you worship Satan in the basement. Put a tarp down to catch the blood, and dispose of the goat carcass when you are through. And if your cultists drink my imported beer, it had better be replaced, and cold, when I want one.

My TV and easy chair? Colts are playing, or Buffy is bouncing her perky little butt on TV, and it?s mine. And if you spill your beer on my chair, you clean it, but sure, you can use it. Except to watch MSNBC. Don?t like it? Fine, it?ll be in my room or in storage. No skin off my ass.

Mind your own business and keep your hands to yourself.

Do as you will so long as it involves only yourself.

Now someone might be appalled that I am blase about Andy being a devil worshipper, but hey ? Andy?s rent is never late, he soundproofed the basement on his own nickel, and the cops have never come here to investigate reports of goat-stealing. I just don?t give a fuck. I?ve never smelled or seen him smoke dope, and after he cranks one off to GGW, he cleans up and disposes of it discreetly. I have similar disinterest in what you do ? so long as it doesn?t present an obstacle to me living my own life, discretely; nor picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg.

The only thing we split is rent, heat, power, and water. Those are the NEEDS. Internet and Satellite and Cable and Telephone ? those are WANTS. We might all agree ? or not. You all want to go cheap and get DSL ? go for it. I want cable in my room. No, no landline for me ? a cell is all I need. And if you two can?t afford your deluxe package without me ? well, sucks to be you. Tell you what, split the cost of cable with me, or get the basic package. Not my fucking problem.

Why should I be free to do this? Because I don?t buy gourmet or convenience foods. I don?t eat out all the time. I work full time. I don?t have 5 magazine subscriptions, belong to a coffee club, and so on and so forth. This is why I get to have an internet connection I attach to my system with a pipe wrench.

This is a free society on a micro scale. Take care of basic NEEDS communally, and wants are your own issue. Do what you want in your own demesne (room). Respect personal property, and public property as if it belonged to someone else.

It?s not that hard. We can demand an emergency collection for funds to exterminate the roaches that have invaded from the slob of a neighbor. That is legitimate. Subsidizing your medicine cabinet because you?re a hypochondriac? I don?t think so, buttercup.

This is what this society was supposed to be. The federal government as the development corporation for the subdivision ? certain basic rules. Each state and apartment complex or collection of condos in there, with further rules. Cites different buildings. Filtering on down. Don?t like the rules? Don?t like Andy the Satanist? Get different roomies. You want your utensils arranged just so in the dishrack? Get like minded roomies ? or your own apartment.

But for God?s sake, stop trying to pass laws that say ?Everyone who lives here must put their toilet paper ?over? the roll!? It?s none of your goddamn business.

Liberty is give and take, and forgetting this is the beginning of fascism. No, you don?t have to live your life according to someone?s vision for their life. Likewise is true for them. If you think people should have the right to do X, Y, and Z ? I am all for it. Go for it! You want to think people who don?t are close-minded knuckleheads and disassociate with them? Not go to their cookout, or invite them over for yours? Go for it! You want to make a rule against A, B, and C in your little apartment? Knock yourself out! You want to think people who allow it are hedonists and libertines and not let your kids go over to their building to play? Bully for you!

And they likewise have the same right to do so with YOU. No matter who you are, or how ?enlightened? and ?progressive?or ?Salt of the Earth? you think you may be, someone, somewhere, has the perfect right to think you?re a shitstain on humanity and not want to put up with your dumb ass. And you have no ? ZERO ? right to push it on them. I don?t care who you are, what your issue is, or which side of it you?re on; and no, I?m not going to weigh in on whether or not the law should read ?All toilet paper in this subdivision should go over the roll? or ?All toilet paper should go under the roll? because none of you stupid bastards should be making a law about it to begin with.

And if we had a lot more of the notion of ?Sod off, you ?tards in Bugtussle, Iowa have no business, no should you be concerned, about what the ?tards in West Nowhere, Nebraska are doing.? we?d all be a lot better off.

And to be blunt, so long as everyone is ?Keeping it in their room,? not picking pockets or breaking legs in the doing, if you disagree you?re nothing but a goddamn Nazi.

Get your own roomies. That is what the great experiment of the states was intended ? you don?t like it here, you have an out ? loading up your property, and moving. Or working to change it. Or cowboying up and dealing with it. And if, in the great long term your way is better, social Darwinism will let you do your ?Told you so? dance of superiority. And if not, it?s humble pie for you.

And for the life of me, the only reason I can see for people resisting this is a deep seated fear that they will be eating pie.